Light the candles and let the party begin.

Live every birthday with grace and style.

Whenever your birthday comes up, and whatever the number, attitude really can define your age. Sometimes it generates a lot of action when people become concerned over a new number.

Once 40 or 50 pops up on the age screen a new diet, gym workouts, a few new blonde streaks, or a sleek new car may also appear.

For some 40 is the hot button with a midlife crisis often assuming comic proportions. For others 50 is the crossover.

For some stepping into retirement at 62 or 65 shouts age. But whatever the number, age can be something we react to, or skilfully pilot.

Be open to new ideas and be true to yourself for the best ride.

One friend celebrates each year with gusto with friends and family. Not surprisingly, she looks much younger than she is and she is frequently seen smiling and laughing. Her emails are always the best.

Another friend makes a big production over each family member’s birthday. This year when she logged in fifty her family did a huge costume party with a come-as-the-year theme, pegged to her favourite year. It was a party to be remembered and I’m sure next year there will be some other fun event.

Another resourceful guy takes the cue and makes a list of all of the things that he has yet to try. Bridge, book clubs, nature walks, woodworking classes….the list goes on and so does he, checking them out, learning as he goes.

While another friend, the same age, beams as she tells you what she’s doing, all the places she’s going. She’s about to take her next cruise or considering a travel/work junket where professionals contribute their skills to help others.

One person keeps right on sailing at 60. He may have to enlist a bigger crew, but he’s still out there savouring Sundays on the water. Another person in the same age bracket lets age convince him that his sailing days are over and sells his boat.

One person retires and the next time you see her she’s enrolled in a watercolour class and attending a new series of lectures on learning connections in the brain. There’s a gleam in her eye and laughter in her voice.

One person hits 50 and does a complete overhaul: new hairstyle, diet, glasses and classes. Another person hits 50 and settles in, leaving a trail of pizza boxes and TV guides.

What is your attitude? The choice is yours.

Carefully weigh your options and use your wisdom and experience to evaluate what’s out there, what you really want. Be selective. You may be walking more, starting a daily journal, trying yoga, or conspiring with a friend to create the ultimate trip. Whatever you choose, make sure it fits you.

If so, you already know that life’s best moments really are defined by you.

Sandy Schroeder for Third Age.